Being Present: The Double Bind
The Body Can Only Dwell in the Present
A somatic approach is foundational to trauma healing because your body is the gateway to the present moment. NARM founder Laurence Heller has observed, “The body lives only in the present moment. In the mind, we can remember the past or think about the future, but we can be in the present moment only by being fully connected to the body.” This tracks because your physical senses are your direct point of contact with what is happening in real time. You don’t think your present-moment experience — you engage it through a moment-to-moment, full-bodied, sensory encounter.
The Present Moment is Where the Self Lives
Contact with the present moment inherently regulates your nervous system because it orients you to what is. This increases a sense of inner stability. Being in the here-and-now also improves body awareness which enhances your ability to respond to your needs rather than react from habit or disconnection. Being present gives you clearer access to your boundaries, emotions and desires which is the basic foundation from which your authentic self-expression emerges. For these reasons, the present moment is the only place where true relationship with Self is possible.
Trauma Changes Everything
However, all of that changes when trauma enters the picture. If you’ve experienced the impact of trauma, you understand this. The feeling of being stuck in the past while also being afraid of the future is the constant barrier to experiencing the here-and-now. From a physiological perspective, this makes sense: unmetabolized stress chemistry makes it feel like the past isn’t over which makes the future feel daunting. As a result, you feel hypervigilant and stuck.
The Double Bind
As if to make matters worse, defensive mechanisms in the psyche work hard to keep you disconnected through protective strategies like numbing, dissociation and denial. They remember that at one time, the present moment is where the trauma occurred and that “going back” will overwhelm you all over again. But the present is exactly where you need to be if you’re ever going to reconnect with yourself, the people you love and feel fully alive again. And so the double bind: the here-and-now is where you most want to and do not want to be.
A Somatic Approach Can Help
At Salt City Somatics, I understand the essential need for safety and also the simultaneous urge toward healing and growth. Both are equally important. In a somatic session, coming into the present moment takes both into account. A client’s reservations about being overwhelmed are respected by steady pacing, resting as needed, adjusting the intensity of the experience, honoring consent and co-regulating together. In addition, dual awareness is key: we recognize the arising sensations are from the past but we keep our awareness anchored firmly in the present. This allows for integration versus retraumatization.
Not surprisingly, once your nervous system’s needs for safety are met, the healing and growth can’t not happen. It’s like the process of germination for a seed: it will wait for years—hundreds, even thousands—for the right conditions to come along. When water, proper temperature, oxygen and light are present in the right combinations, the seed cannot stop itself from sprouting. Likewise with trauma healing for humans. Once the right conditions for safety are met, the instinct toward healing and growth cannot be held back.
What Does Being in the Present Feel Like?
In somatic trauma-healing, clients often describe being present as a sense of stillness, noticing slower and deeper breaths, having a heightened satisfaction with the sensory engagement of “now” (e.g., more substance and weight to it, seeing colors as more vivid), an experience of spaciousness or expansion, a deepened ability to stay focused and increased sensitivity to subtle sensations. There is the absence of mental clutter, racing mind, self-criticism, agitation and restlessness. “I feel calm and safe”, “I’m connected to myself, like I’m okay just as I am”, and “My circumstances haven’t changed but I’m just not as overwhelmed by them” are common observations by clients who have shifted into the present moment.
If this speaks to you, I would love to connect for a consultation if you want to learn more. If you’re ready to begin, I look forward to our first session together.
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